1-Nothing...
I mean NOTHING could've prepared me to be a mom. Nothing anyone told me, nothing I stocked the nursery with, none of the books I read, could've actually prepared me to be a mom. The unconditional, selfless insanity with which you love your child are feelings and experiences unlike any you've ever felt before. Get ready to embrace the madness, love something that will always be bigger than anything you ever do with your life, and stare in awe at the life you created. Also, get ready to feel clinically insane at times, because let's be honest, you'll feel that too.
2-Hormones.
Baby Blues are a real thing. The first two weeks after I brought my son home were extremely difficult (especially the first week my husband went back to work). My body was recovering from a C-Section (which I will mention in another point), because my body was recovering, I felt exhausted all the time, and there was this brand new life that relied solely on me for ALL and EVERY single need (knowing that was overwhelming in itself). Your hormones are going crazy and thoughts, that looking back were very illogical, seem very logical in the midst of your exhaustion and anxiety. Things like "I'm never going to get to sit and eat dinner with my husband again" "I haven't been outside in days. I'm never going to get to go out and do chores on our farm" "I love this baby so much. I don't feel like I'm being a good mom" "Why can't I fix why you're crying? I feel terrible that you're crying". You WILL get to return back to things you love and you WILL get to regain that special time with your significant other. You won't be trapped inside forever and sometimes babies just cry because they're babies! IT TAKES TIME. It takes time to get to know your baby, it takes time to get into a schedule, it takes time to adjust back to a semi-normal life! You just experienced the biggest life change you'll probably ever have, things are probably going to be off for awhile! Here's the biggest piece of advice I can give new moms or soon to be moms-TALK TO PEOPLE! My sister-in-law came over to see me the first day my husband went back to work because I was having a difficult time. The best advice I got from anyone was, "Katie, don't be afraid to surround yourself with people you're ok with crying in front of." So I sat there and cried with her and I've never been more thankful for a half an hour in my life! Make sure you are communicating with your spouse about how you are feeling (even if it seems silly to you). If you come up from taking a shower and you feel sad all of the sudden and don't know why....go to them tell them how you feel and ask for a hug. You don't have to know why you feel sad, just acknowledge that you are.You don't have to explain either, only if you want to or can. Talk to your mom, talk to a friend, talk to a nurse, talk to whoever you feel safe with talking to but make sure you TALK and make sure you monitor those feelings. Ask for help when you need it. There is no shame in it and receiving that support and receiving healing/comforting words helped my heart tremendously. Make sure you always go to God and keep praying in your times of struggle. He is there constantly and praying and asking for healing can fill any soul with peace.
3-Taboo about C-Sections.
I'm not sure why there is a such a taboo surrounding C-Sections. Several times during my pregnancy people asked if I was having a 'natural birth'. What is a natural birth? I hate that term. Unless Scottie himself is standing in my delivery room and I yell, "Beam him out, Scottie!" and my baby magically appears, any current delivery method is a NATURAL one. If you use medicine, if you don't, if you have a vaginal delivery, or if you have a C-Section..all of those methods seem natural to me. I pushed for forty seconds almost every 1.5-3 minutes for four hours and then had major surgery to bring my little one here. I am darn proud but mostly darn THANKFUL that I live in age where I had that medical option. It's all about getting your baby here safely and keeping yourself safe. However you want to do that, or however you can do that, is all that matters. Women need to start supporting one another and not diminishing any one's birth experience. There's no such thing as a perfect delivery, only a delivery that is perfectly unique.
4- You will love your baby and you will also fall more in love with your husband.
I knew my husband loved me. I knew it, I did. I knew the day he said his vows at the alter, that he meant them, but the half a week we spent in the hospital and now, witnessing him be a dad, has confirmed these beliefs a million times over. The things he did for me while I was in the hospital and the ways/things he spoke to me literally blew me away. The way he gets up in the middle of the night to change the baby before I feed him so that I'm not the only one getting up, the way he helps with the baby right when he gets home even after working all day and being tired, are amazing examples of a love God is delighted to see. I've witnessed such a change in my husband over the last month and having a baby has been a blessing but living through these changes with my husband has been one too.
5- You will never be the same.
You will be changed forever. My life will never go back to how it was and yet, I can't imagine it being any other way. I will love this little soul all of my days. I can't imagine a reality in which he does not exist and I can't wait to watch him grow up. I can't wait to see the person he becomes, the light of God he spreads, and the lives he touches.
New Moms-
Don't be afraid to ask for help or take the help that is offered (whether it's meals, someone to do laundry, someone to help clean, or just someone to hold the baby for awhile so you can sleep).
Talk about how you're feeling and don't forget to check in on your husband and see how he is doing. It is a big life change for him too!
Thank your spouse for everything they do that helps you out. Don't just assume they know it helps!
It's ok to feel frustrated/sad/mad/scared..etc. as a new mom. Be forgiving of yourself, be safe, take a break when you need one, and find activities to get you back on balance.
Enjoy little moments. They grow so fast! They really do. In the middle of the night when you're rocking or feeding your baby (and are dog tired) try not to focus on the exhaustion, instead, memorize their face, hold their hand, and hug them a little tighter. One day these things will only be a memory.
Never stop thanking God for your child. In good times and in difficult ones. These precious souls are on loan to us to raise, nurture, cherish, and love. They are one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive. I am in awe of the blessing that has been placed in my life and words cannot express my gratitude.
