What is a stay-at-home mom? I never personally knew any stay-at-home moms until I started dating my husband, Gage. Most of the moms I knew growing up worked in a beautiful profession as teachers diligently serving other people's children. So, it was a real treasure when I got to watch my sister-in-laws start their families and pursue the difficult and rewarding task of being full time moms and homemakers. There were many preconceived notions I had of stay-at-home moms (as I'm sure everyone who has never been a stay-at-home mom or personally known a stay-at-home mom does) and even through watching my sister-in-laws, it was not until I myself became a full time mom and care taker of my family's home that I understood what this 'job' was really all about. So let me break some things down for you to help you better understand a day in the life-
1-Being able to stay home, take care of my family's daily needs, and raise my children is a PRIVILEGE but it is also a JOB. I think some people have this idea that being home full time is easy and that every day is like a weekend. This couldn't be further from the truth. While it is easier to handle my responsibilities as a mother and as a wife because now those responsibilities are my WORK, being home full time has presented me with many new challenges, stresses, insecurities, and learning lessons that I could've never anticipated (that I will touch on below).
2-Being home full time is sometimes a very thankless job.
As I strive to become a more godly woman, wife, and mother it has become very clear that the work I complete on this Earth is not for the glory of this Earth. It is not so I receive standing applause and thanks every time I do something nice for my family or in my home, rather that I work diligently with love for the purpose of SERVING Christ and my loved ones. This isn't always easy, folks. Sometimes, it's downright discouraging. Coming from a working environment where I was constantly in contact with other professionals providing compliments, with parents thanking me for helping their children, to having external barometers to measure my success (e.g., completing paper work, my clients reaching goals, killing it in a meeting) transitioning home with all of that being taken away was DIFFICULT. Soon, I found myself in a constant state of "well, I just got that job done. I just cleaned all morning. I just grocery shopped. I just did the dishes from the thousandth time. Isn't my husband going to thank me? Didn't he notice I organized and cleaned out the garage? I do the laundry every week, why don't I receive any accolades for that?" That was a completely harmful way of looking at my new adventure. It is one thing to want to feel appreciated (which everyone you love has the right to feel that way) but quite another to expect praise for every thing you do (especially the things you should be doing anyway). My work has now become completely selfless. It has become all about the love I have for my home and for my family and serving them for as long as they need. And when I do get that thank you from my husband for all of the seemingly 'little' things I do day in and day out, it makes my heart feel extra big.
3-Being home full time can be lonely.
This was not something I was planning for at all. I went from having contact with many professionals, educators, and many different children on a daily basis to just chilling at home with my son who could only make caveman noises at me. I also realized how beautiful and wonderful my friendships I forged at work were. The daily companionship, venting sessions, or the general just catching up will always be something I treasure and look back upon fondly. Luckily, even though I do not get to take advantage of those friendships as frequently as I once did, I am still very close with most of the girls I used to work with and getting alone time to visit them is something I always look forward to. To combat this loneliness it became very apparent that I needed to be a mom who had a plan. I got much better about scheduling my days so they didn't seem so long, I made sure to get out of the house with Conrad when I could, and I joined a mom's group which has been a saving grace for me. It is a place where I get to spend time with other stay-at-home moms, bond, eat delicious food, and grow together as wives and mothers through Christ. If you are reading this and think your soul is in need of such a place, please look into Sidney MOPS.
4-Stay-at-Home Moms aren't just moms....
I now wear many hats in my family--full time care giver, dish washer, clothes washer, fun starter, dog walker, secretary, personal grocery shopper, chef, maid, poop cleaner, comfort giver, book reader, call maker, errand runner.....the list could go on and on...Bless my husband for working a ten hour day, coming home, and helping me with our son so I can have a break. It is wonderful, but even then I am not off the clock. I am constantly doing something which is exhausting but these things are now mostly MY responsibilities as I embark on my career as a homemaker. My husband continues to help when he can, when I ask, or even sometimes when I don't ask but through prayer I am starting to be very at peace with primarily shouldering these tasks as it serves those I love most.
5-Choosing to be home was scary, but one of the easiest decisions I ever made.
Living on one income isn't always fun, and it definitely isn't always easy but beyond the finances, being home has made my heart more full. It got to a point where I was just working to get through the week to make it to the weekend. Now, my life is more full of life and I try to prioritize to fill each day with wonderful moments. I have more time and energy to devote to my family, my home, and building a relationship with God. If and when my husband and I decide I need to pursue working outside the home, I will always be thankful for this precious, difficult, and amazing time I was given as a stay-at-home mom.
6-We need breaks too.
We love our kids, we love our homes, we love our husbands, but sometimes we need alone time to fill our cups so that we have love and energy to pour. I don't know anyone who literally works every second of every day...being home is no different. Sometimes I just need to get away for awhile, sit down for awhile, do something as Katie and not as mom or wife for awhile. I am blessed that I have a support network of amazing grandparents and family that allows me that time.
I could go on and on about the wonderful and hard life lessons I'm learning and will undoubtedly continue to learn on this journey. Being a mom is hard, it's my hardest and most rewarding job but I wouldn't trade it for anything. If you know a stay-at-home mom don't forget to tell her how much she ROCKS today, that her hard work does NOT go unnoticed, and that you (see) her.
Love always,
a mom with a full heart, a living room full of toys everywhere, and a messy haired baby boy to spend her days with.
