Has anything you've done made your life better?

You all know who she is right? Why this is a Fairy Godmother. The person or magical being that supposedly comes into your life and makes everything better with the wave of a wand. I don't know if there's an increase of wishful thinking or if facebook just makes that wishful thinking more viewable by the public, but it seems more and more these days people complain about their lives yet do nothing to make them better.

I don't think people understand that happiness isn't something everyone is given. It's not like when we're all born someone waves a wand over you and says, "Well you'll be granted with happiness for the rest of your life." No, that's not the way it works. YOU HAVE TO WORK TO BE HAPPY! Being happy, finding happiness, is a proactive task.

I understand everyone goes through trials and tribulations and that some times we need to vent but when I start to not care is when that's all you do. There is a quote from American History X that I love and it goes a little something like this:

"There was a moment, when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.

Derek-Like what?

Sweeney-Has anything you've done made your life better?"

So now I ask you, if you're having a hard time and if life has dealt you a bad hand, what are you doing about it? Have you tried to get better? Have you tried to get happy? Or are you letting the negative events surrounding your life become the life you live? There is always one person you can ALWAYS depend on 100% in this life and that is [yourself]. Reaching goals, working hard, going to school or getting up and going to work every day, being a single parent, losing a loved one, going through a break-up, or losing a home etc. isn't always fun. Life isn't always going to be fun. It's how you react to situations that are beyond your control that define who you are. These things are black holes we get thrown down into and by not doing anything about it, by not at least TRYING to climb back out says to me that you're content living alone in the dark.

Anything and everything works when trying to get happy. Do what works best for you! BUT DO SOMETHING! For awhile you might feel your attempts are futile, might feel like it's not working, like it's not worth it but keep working and keep trying! I always live by the "fake it until you make it" policy and it hasn't steered me wrong yet. You try so hard to go out of your way to do nice things for yourself and do things to make yourself happy eventually you're going to forget you're trying at all and just accept it as the life you're leading.

It's almost the new year and unfortunately you aren't going to be visited by a fairy godmother on midnight who will make all your wishes come true. You will however, be visited by someone who can make all your wishes come true [and that is the brand new you]. This year make all your hopes, wishes, dreams, and desires come true. You can't think of a New Year's resolution? Here's one [be happy, WORK on being happy].

Here's a list of things I do to make myself happy:

1-Get out of the house (sitting around feeling sorry for yourself is probably the worst thing you could do to [you].

2-Put nice things on your bathroom mirror (so every morning or every time you use the restroom you can look at the mirror and be reminded of things you forget).

3-Thought of the Week (write a thought of the week and some main points to remember it e.g., this week you're going to do one nice thing for yourself a day and three reasons why that's a good idea. Hang this up and look at it every day).

4-Splurge. Some times we just need some comforting whether you're really girly and go out and buy clothes or like me and hit up Amigos and get a Velveeta Burger and fries do something that gives you a little bit of that guilty satisfaction.

5-Rely on friends (I'm not saying complain to them every day or every time you talk about the same thing-because they're going to get tired of that-I'm saying go out with your friends, invite friends over for dinner, invite them over for a movie, go play catch at the park-spend time with them).

6-Throw all your energy into something. Create goals for yourself. Don't have a job? Not going to school? No wonder you're in a rut all you have time to do is to sit around and think about why you're in that rut. Get busy and get motivated! Set goals for yourself because when you reach them it gives you all the confidence in the world! No one can give you that. Do something with your time and life.

7-Sing in the car or at your computer or in the shower or where ever you choose to (this may sound silly but it ALWAYS puts me in a better mood).

8-Before you go to bed at night say 5 things you're thankful for either out loud or in your head. When everything seems wrong it's important to remember what's going right.

9-Accept the bad events in your life for what they are and demystify them by trying to learn from them (I believe God does everything for a reason, we may not know why currently, but we can help ourselves and help his hard work along, by trying to learn the lessons he's teaching and do it better the next time).

10-The next time you go to complain about your life I want you to think of someone who is worse off (because remember, there is ALWAYS someone with darker battles than yourself and you should be thankful you have the problems you do have).

If I were a fairy godmother before I waved my wand, I'd make sure you were someone who deserved a little magic. If you've never done anything to help yourself, then why would you expect others to? (Something to think about).