She Gave Up

One of the saddest things you'll ever see is a girl settling for a boy and it's not meant to be. I think it's harder and harder for people to date these days because we live in a society where traditional values and rituals aren't highly practiced and when trying to strive for a more traditional courtship this very thing makes that extremely difficult.

A lot of relationships don't work out for several different reasons but what I see more and more are girls making exceptions for boys even when those reasons are [big] ones. She went back to a boy who was lucky to have her the first time. She gave him a second chance when he never deserved one to begin with.

It's not that upsetting to know that boys can be cruel or that they make horrible hurtful decisions (because at an age where everyone is trying to grow up (or not grow up) trying to participate in an adult thing like a relationship becomes next to impossible) and girls and boys prove this correct all the time. (e.g., O he cheated, O she drank too much, O she was really cruel to me, O he blamed it on alcohol)---the list goes on and on. These things in themselves are not disappointing, what disappoints me is that people go back to ex boyfriends or girlfriends when they know that person doesn't deserve them. By doing it it's like they give up on themselves.

When a girl goes back to a guy who doesn't deserve her these are the things I think:
1-He couldn't possibly be that boy you were dreaming about since you were little because he's already done something big to hurt you so by going back to him it's telling me that you don't think you're good enough to be with someone better.
2-You're insecure. Why sacrifice yourself, your dignity, and knowing what you deserve just not to be alone? Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely; it means you're smart enough to know that there's something better out there and you're patient enough to discover what that is.
3-You don't believe 'that guy' exists so you settle thinking you got close enough. There are several problems with this. 1. Yes, no one is perfect but screwing up big already puts him behind someone who never will. 2.There are amazing guys out there (better than what you have) and because you won't let go you are depriving yourself of even having a CHANCE at meeting one of them.
4-You gave up on yourself. We all make rules and say if he ever____I'd break up with him. Well, emotions get involved and we break promises we make to ourselves. You give up on yourself and if there is anything worse than someone breaking a promise they've made to you, it's breaking one you made to yourself.

I think it's also important for girls and boys alike to remember that you need to be happy and secure with the person you are before you try to be happy and secure with someone else. If you have things you need to work on as an individual don't drag some poor bystander into your rebuilding process. It's not their job to make you better [it's yours].

And for all of those girls that read this and think the classic 'she doesn't know what she's talking about dream guys don't exist, that's a lie, that never happens' I'm saying here and now I've met the most amazing boy I have ever known (next to my father) and the level of respect, kindness, and the chivalry he exhibits is something that astounds me. He treats me like a queen and it's something I never thought was possible. I was like you (a non believer). I was that girl that missed the wrong boy and thought 'o well I'm willing to sacrifice some of the things I know I deserve just because I'm lonely and he's close enough). NO...I thank God every day that all others have forsaken me because it has lead me to him. Without all of that I would have never known what to truly be respected feels like! And when a boy takes care of you, carries things for you, does things without having to be asked, and is not your Dad, it turns your whole world (and anything you've ever believed) upside down. I picture girls I know with boys that don't deserve them and then I compare it to how I feel right in this moment and my heart is so sad for them because they could be sharing this feeling with me and choose not to (by their own will).

There are amazing wonderful people out there. I always told myself that if you are so amazing, great, unique, then there has to be someone else out there (an opposite to balance the universe) that is too. Be patient and wait for what you deserve. And if you ever start doubting that or getting lonely and forget to tell yourself what you deserve have someone you love remind you. You should never have to questions some one's affection or loyalty and you should most certainly, never have to make excuses for the person you love.

You choose who you want to be with. Don't be with someone who doesn't deserve you because when it comes down to it [that's your fault]. Learn from your past to make a better future or just be ok with settling.

There was a quote I read somewhere that I loved:

"I guess you just gotta' ask yourself if you're willing to settle for being alone or not enough." At least if you're alone, there is the promise of having everything your heart ever wanted.

You wouldn't just give your most prized possession to just anyone, so why do we give our hearts to people that don't take care of them? And when they ask for them back after they've broken it and we've fixed it, we hand it over forgetting that they were the reason we had to fix it in the first place. Think about who you give your heart to [it's a precious thing].
Remember-You are beautiful, amazing, one of a kind, and that never goes unnoticed for long.