One Love

There is a quote I've come across several times and I'm sure you've all seen it as well. It goes something like this:

"There are many different types of love but never the same love twice."

I used to think this was true. I've thought about these words a lot and lately, I've come to believe that this is indeed; false.

Let me start by clarifying that I equate these words to romantic love. Love between you and a significant other.

I am quickly approaching my wedding date. I could not be more excited. This moment and the realization of the enormous gift I have been given have lead me to reflect upon my life and my past romantic relationships. What about the relationship I have with my fiancé' is different than some of the things I experienced in the past? What are some of the feelings I feel now that I didn't with other people? Why is it that I have such a sense of peace with Gage and a confidence in him that others failed to gain?

I can answer this question very easily: it is because, for the first time in my life, I have found 'love'.

We are lead to believe that love is something that can easily be found. We are lead to believe that when a guy treats us badly that it is a matter of circumstance and not that he doesn't 'truly' love us. Well I am here to tell every disillusioned youth that I'm not buying it any longer.

Everything in my life before I met the man I was destined to marry was a mirage. It looked like love, it felt like love, hell, I even wanted it to be love.....BUT it was not. It was not love. It wasn't a certain 'form' of love, it wasn't 'type a' love, it wasn't love period. Being with Gage has given me that gift and that insight.

You are probably wondering how I know this. Well, listen in, because I'm about to drop some mad wisdom. Gage reminds me and SHOWS me of his love daily. It is a daily occurrence and I have never doubted for a single moment of his love for me. Actions speak louder than words when it comes to truly loving another person. Gage is not the most well versed, Gage does not write me sonnets, and rarely does he recite what could be the perfect final five minutes of your favorite rom-com (romantic comedy) BUT he loves me through the small sacrifices he makes and the way he treats me-and that is what real love is.
I have NEVER been treated with so much respect, so much consideration, or so much dignity than I have been the past couple years. Why is that? Because I am with a young man who LOVES ME.

Loving someone selflessly through your actions, the sacrifices you make for that person, and committing yourself to these two things everyday even when you don't like the other person or even when it is painful for you, is love in it's purest form.

I've come to realize young men aren't what they used to be, but either are young women. I've come to the conclusion that girls get treated like crap because they let their boyfriends do it. We make excuses for them, we try to rationalize their behavior, we try to convince ourselves that we are protecting 'our love'. In that, becomes our first problem; convincing. We should NEVER have to convince ourselves of love. That is not how love works.

I'm as guilty as the next young lady in being so naive as to think I had love when I did not. I'm here to tell all of the young women in my life that it is a new year and it is my deepest wish, that they hold a new standard for love. Never for a moment settle for anything less. Never disservice yourself by settling with an illusion of love and closing yourself off from finding the real thing.

Every lonely night, every time you cry yourself to sleep (Oh c'mon you know we all do this) because you just wanted a hug that wasn't there, every time you didn't feel good enough, or every time you felt forgotten, you need to remind yourself of these things:

1-Be the person who deserves great love. If you're not this person, work to be.
2-With great things come great sacrifice. Great love is no different.
3-Being lonely is always better than settling.
4-God has a plan for your heart.
5-Maybe it's not you, it's him.

This last one might sound cliche' but there is reason for my use of this over used phrase. When I was in college I was feeling some of these things-lonliness, longing, maybe even a little frustration. My friend and I had a nice talk before evening summer class and these words will stick with me always:

Maybe it's not you that's not ready, maybe God is preparing his heart for you.


Do not let your heart be a victim of the impostor of love. Learn from your failed relationships, learn from your mistakes, learn from your heartbreak. Learn from these things so that you know what you deserve and so that you can identify and appreciate 'love' when it comes into your life.