The Parable of The Fig Tree

The year was 2014,  about six months before my wedding, and my fiance and I were having our weekly date night. I remember this conversation so vividly, it's probably a sign that the Holy Spirit was very much a part of it, but it wasn't just a conversation, it really was more of an argument. There Gage and I sat as we got in a heated debate about going to 'confession'. As he tried to explain his view I rattled off with things like:

"Who's the priest to forgive my sins?"
"If God knows everything, then why do I need to go?"
"Why can't I just pray for forgiveness and receive it that way?"
"I'm not where you are at in my spiritual journey, so stop forcing me!"
and on and on and on........

Now if you will, please fast forward to this week's readings from church about unrepentant sinners, their demise, and the Gospel including The Parable of The Fig Tree. You know, the one where the farmer wants to cut the fig tree down because year after year it does not bare fruit, but the man tending the tree pleads the farmer to let him keep it a little longer to nurture the tree, care for the tree, and fertilize the tree in hopes that he can help the tree become healthy once more....

I don't know about you, but those readings were some hard pills to swallow. At first, it is very easy for your heart to be struck with fear. It is easy to misunderstand the teachings for vengeance and punishment, and then it becomes just as easy to close your heart, to turn away.

I recently read a book called "The Biggest Lie in The History of Christianity" by Matthew Kelly. It was a profound read in that while some of his concepts seemed radical at first, I kept my heart open to them and began to ponder their implications. Matthew went on to guess that one of the biggest reasons people have fallen away from the church/stopped going to church is that because 'they stop finding a message of hope there...'

After sitting at church on Sunday and listening about God's stern warnings, towers falling on sinners, and trees being cut down (even with the quick mention of confession).....it was very evident to me that one looking in on the surface of what is preached can see these teachings as very hopeless cautionary tales. And while as Catholics we are taught that our decisions and relationship with God DO matter in determining our ultimate resting place and how IMPORTANT these warnings are not to fall on deaf ears (because as Bishop Robert Barron points out "We can become so resistant to God's grace that our leaves dry up. This is not divine vengeance but spiritual physics.")... Please, ....PLEASE take heart in what I'm about to tell you because in these teachings there IS so much hope and love to be found if only we know where to look.

Repentance.  I don't know about you, but when I hear repentance I find it so archaic sounding. Like the reverend from The Scarlet Letter whipping the shame out of himself in the secrecy of his closet archaic.....Repentance ACTUALLY loosely defined means 'to turn away from sin and amend one's life.'

The Parable of The Fig Tree begins with a stern warning of casting the tree aside (the spiritually dead person) but ends with it's tender asking the farmer that he take care of the tree and bring it back to life. While it is IMPORTANT to hear the warning in that, it is equally IMPORTANT to hear that the tender wants the tree to be fertilized/taken care of, the tender believes in the tree's ability to produce fruit, and that the tender loves that tree despite itself. There, my friends, lies our message of HOPE. At first glance, our fear wants to tell us that Sunday's message was all about punishment, but it is with a hopeful heart when we look beyond that, there is a beautiful message of redemption.

So how does hope, this parable, and repentance all fit together? As Christians who are practicing Catholics, the most evident answer to that is 'confession.'

So today, I dove into a wonderful talk by Vinny Flynn on FORMED entitled "The 7 Secrets of Confession." Below are the beautiful ideas presented to me through this talk.

Pope John Paul can be quoted saying, "Now more than ever, the people of God must be helped to rediscover the sacrament of mercy. Let us ask Christ to help us rediscover the full beauty of the sacrament, to abandon ourselves to the mercy of God, and with his grace, set out again on our journey to holiness."

 Pope Francis goes on to say, "Confession is not a trip to the dry cleaner. It is not a torture chamber. It is a personal encounter with Jesus Christ who waits for you as you are.."

Remember 2014 Katie? The Katie who was so adamant about not going to confession? The 2014 Katie who had a hardened heart? Well, I am happy to report that after years of attending mass every week and hearing message after message my heart slowly started to soften to the idea of going to confession. I have been going regularly for a few years (after only going ONCE before my first communion). You can only imagine the peace I received after stating in the confessional that I had not been to confession in 20+ years only to be told, "Welcome Home." Even after practicing this sacrament for 3+ years I still found through listening to Mr. Flynn's talk today that I have many preconceived notions of what confession is versus what confession ACTUALLY is. But that's kind of what people do when they think about the Catholic church, huh? That's kind of what people do who have fallen away from the church (myself included from the time I was 17 years old to about 22  years old). We have wounds, we have fears, then we misplace those wounds and fears on preconceived notions of what we THINK the church teaches without even knowing what it actually teaches. This leaves us hardened and often times sad. But as I listened to this talk I was reminded that Catholicism is a VERY personal relationship with God. Each and every sacrament given by Jesus Christ through the Catholic church is EXTREMELY personal. Here are the seven secrets of Confession he outlined to help with preconceived notions any of you might be facing, to remind you HOW LOVED YOU ARE, and to present what a SPECIAL gift that is made available to us through confession.

1-Sin doesn't change God.
Sin isn't about behavior, it's about a relationship. We are not just created, we are BONDED to God. Sin is a denial of His fathering. When we enter into the confessional, God looks at the broken relationship, not just the behavior. The sun will continue to shine no matter our actions. It's what the sun does, but we can affect how the sun gets to us. We can go under an umbrella, we can hide under a tree, we can run into a cave and be surrounded by total darkness.......but the sun will still be there when we walk out of that cave, venture out from under that tree or umbrella, and so will you find this is also true of God's love. It is always there.

2-It's not just about forgiveness.
Confession FIRST AND FOREMOST is about HEALING. Who knew? I sure didn't. I was definitely one of the many Americans he was speaking of when he said FORGIVENESS was the most common answer when he asked people to describe confession in one word. I had the very simple view that "Ok, I go to confession because I made bad choices and God is mad at me for those choices and now after I've partaken in this sacrament God isn't mad at me anymore because he's forgiven me." I mean this in no way to be sarcastic, but to only be brave enough to admit a very real distortion that takes place when we think about the act of going to confession. Folks, it is so much more than that. So much more. Sin-bad choices-mistakes-(whatever you want to call them) leave us wounded, they leave us hurt, they leave us disfigured. Confession is 1 of 2 holy sacraments offered through the Catholic church that is a HEALING sacrament. Confession first and foremost mends the brokenness caused by these wounds, and restores what is lost. Forgiveness is what initiates the healing process, and remember confession is a process.

3-Your sin IS different than my sin.
Sin is sin, is sin....? Not true according to this talk. Knowing the difference between mortal (e.g., breaking a ten commandment) and venial (e.g., thinking an uncharitable thought) sins is important, it offers a good guide but REMEMBER as Pope Francis so beautifully illustrates " confession is a personal encounter with Jesus Christ who waits for you as you are.." AS YOU ARE...God is not judging you solely based on your behavior (because he ALONE knows your heart), but he's also judging you in where you are at in relationship to Him and how you are responding to Him. God does not see the behavior, he sees the wound behind it.

4-Confession is never really private.
Remember 2014 Katie "Who's the priest to forgive my sins, anyway!?" Well, it is firmly taught in the Catholic church that it is not the priest present in the confessional, but Christ Himself and the priest acting "In The Person of Christ." Christ hears your confession, and the Holy Trinity hears your confession. He also goes on to explain that all of heaven is present and I would really love to look into that more.

5-You've Got Mail
He explained that God has emailed you all the forgiveness you'll ever need, but we have to log on, open the internet, click on the app to access this forgiveness that He's sent. You must access His forgiveness through your repentance. It blew my mind to consider that Christ died on the cross for all of the wrong doings I've already committed but also for all of the FUTURE wrong doings I can't even yet conceptualize.

6-New Wine Needs New Skin
"Confession requires a radical reorientation of your whole life." Confession is about change.

7-You Need to Let Go of Your Chains
Sins weigh us down. So often we walk around with our chains and our wounds. Pope Francis recently gave a talk to priests in Italy in which he drove home "We don't need more analysis in the confessional. There are open wounds. People are hurting. So much woundedness. We have to heal wounds. The priest has to smell like his sheep, the priest has to know his sheep, he has to weep for his people. Christ's heart is wrenched open by your woundedness. That is what compassion means."

As I have grown in my spiritual journey and grown in relationship with the Catholic church, it has often times become apparent to me that I must walk in faith when my heart doesn't seem automatically attracted to a teaching or when my heart doesn't automatically understand a teaching until the Holy Spirit provides me with what my soul is searching for. So during this Lenten season it is my HOPE that you return home, it is my HOPE that you can walk in faith searching for answers you cannot yet see but ones that you desperately need, it is my HOPE that you realize how loved you are, and it is my HOPE that you see the beauty/love/peace found in the sacraments given to us by Christ through the church, most importantly the sacrament of confession......the sacrament of HEALING.

God Bless.